I read a story the other day about a man who had it pretty bad by the world’s standards – a true ‘when bad things happen to good people’ kind of story. He was an incredibly wealthy man who used his fortune to help people in need – giving to the poor, defending people who could not defend themselves and becoming like a father to the fatherless in his community. He raised decent kids who seemed pretty content and who got along with each other – regularly dining together – and he worried over them like any good father would. But his entire world crashed in. All his wealth was stolen from him. In an unforeseeable, unavoidable, tragic fire all his children were killed. And he was stricken with illness that didn’t take his life but made his life basically unbearable. I read this story and think how unbelievably bad this was; I think if I was this guy I really don’t know how I would even get to the next moment. His life seemed all out hopeless.

The other day I had an emoji cup of coffee transformed to hot chocolate by a friend. I was complaining about the lack of the right emoji’s when I wanted them and he sent that cup of coffee back and said we could choose to make it hot chocolate – we could see it however we wanted. It was our power in how we chose to see what was in front of us. This was a complete and total game changer.

In the bible, David is a great example of someone who chose to see things God’s way instead of the world’s. The Israelite army (the world) shook in fear and hid from the giant Goliath. David saw God’s victory and as a pip-squeak sized shepherd boy – took out the giant with nothing more than a sling shot and a river rock.

1 Samuel 17:23-24 “As he was talking with them, Goliath, the Philistine champion from Gath, stepped out from his lines and shouted his usual defiance; and David heard it. Whenever the Israelites saw the man, they all fled from him in fear.”

1 Samuel 17:45-47 “David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head this very day. I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves, for the battle is the Lord’s and He will give all of you into our hands.”

David faced what the world feared based on worldly standards of the chance of survival – and he looked instead from the security and confidence of God’s victory. He chose to look at the giant differently. He chose to look at the unconquerable as already conquered because he knew God was greater. David never faltered. He even discarded the king’s armor, it didn’t fit right and he knew he didn’t need it anyway – he was already looking at the giant from God’s victory instead of the world’s defeat.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  ~ Wayne Dyer

How much could we change in this world if we chose to look at things through God’s victory – through God’s eyes instead of the worlds.

Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth living to me, my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”

We are all in a race – but it is not won by the world’s standards. Winning is not about crossing the finish line first. Winning is not about being the one to break the ribbon. We are in a race we can all win; there is not one gold medal but unlimited eternity. It is all in the way that we choose to look at the course we are on and the people running around us in our world.

For a large part of my life, I defined myself by the world’s view point. My worth was tied to what I did – my job… my title. My worth was tied to who I knew, how popular I was, or how many guys I could get to “love’ me. My view was definitely the world’s view – and I was not even in the race God had laid out before me. I was lost and empty, I could find no victory or value because I wasn’t even in the game. The way I chose to see myself and my word was clouded by the world and therefore I was clouded. I kept striving for all the things that the world kept telling me was important. More money, more success, more education, more friends, more guys… MORE! More of everything except the only thing that had any real value. And my clouded vision affected the way that I saw everything. My job was someplace I had to show up, perform and survive the people around me. Guys were the only way I could find “love”. I didn’t see value in myself, didn’t believe I was worth the best, so I had to give up a lot of myself just to get good enough for the moment. Everything in front of me – even the successes – was so darkened by the way I chose to see life that my whole world was dark.

I have flown a lot in my life. I actually really enjoy it – seeing God’s creation from a distance. With all that time in the sky I have learned a lot about vision in clouds. When the plane takes off and starts to climb – it doesn’t take long before we begin to encounter clouds. Often they start small, puffs that come here and there. But then you go all in, the whole plane is in the middle of clouds and you can’t see a thing. It is the part of the flight I don’t like. I wonder how the pilot can possibly see anything – how he/she can know what they are flying into – and I start to feel closed in. I am closed in by my inability to see beyond the fuzzy cloudy distortion outside my window.

But then…

We break out. And once we have broken free of the clouds, all I can see is brilliant, blue sunshine filled light. This light brings me back to a place of security and freedom. I don’t see anything below me, but I find I don’t need to see it. Happiness is just being fully inside that clear light. That is where the joy in this life comes… just as the plane breaks through into real light – no longer distorted by the clouds – so did I. I encountered Jesus and I took a whole new way of thinking and living into my heart. Light broke into my world and shattered the clouds that had been distorting my vision. My life was no longer about all the “mores” the world demanded. I entered the race I was intended to be running all along; everything for one goal, one winning end – testifying the grace of God. It is the only task I have been given – and to focus on that task is to enter God’s purpose for me… and to win.

My job is no longer something to be endured but instead is the course that God has placed me on to bring His kingdom to earth – to testify to His amazing grace to the coworkers that surround me. It is a place where I can let my life, my work, my integrity shine God’s light to draw others to His grace. Sickness is no longer hopeless but an opportunity for God’s miracles and healing to occur and where God’s light can bring testimony of His grace to those waiting and watching. I choose now to see the world around me free of the clouds – bathed in the bright light found only when I smash through the clouds. I choose to see the world and the giants it tries to throw in my path the way David choose to look at Goliath, firmly, confidently, through the eyes of God’s grace and victory that is already won.

If you have never read the story of Corrie Ten Boom – a Dutch Christian who save many Jews during WWII and ended up in a concentration camp as a result – you should. It is an awe inspiring story. One part I have heard in many talks was all about fleas. Yes, fleas! Corrie and her sister ended up in a dorm at the concentration camp that was infested with fleas – her sister insisted that – as instructed in God’s word – they should be thankful for everything — including the fleas. She looked at the fleas through God’s victory instead of seeing them through the itchy, uncomfortable, infestation of clouds. Turns out, their dorm was left completely unsupervised — none of the guards would enter it. They wouldn’t enter it because of the fleas. And because they were left alone, Corrie and her sister were able to boldly hold bible study and share Jesus’ word with the women in their dorm. Turns out, God’s victory was right there in the fleas!

What fleas are invading your life? What clouds do you need to break free from — to break free to see the clear light of God that enables you to see His victory where the world keeps shouting defeat? Where can you choose to look at people or situations differently than the world?

1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘do not consider His appearance or His height, for I have rejected Him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Don’t see the outward appearance of material things. Don’t see the outward appearance of anger, addiction, depression or sin. Don’t see the outward appearance that the world labeled you – or others around you – with.

Choose to smash the clouds.

Choose to look through God’s eyes – look at the heart that with God – even in the dark world – is victory. Choose to look at the heart that with God – even in the trials and failures – is victory. Remember that even in the very worst – you can choose to see the very best.

That guy I started this story with – chances are you have actually already heard of him. His name is Job, and even in the middle of absolutely everything going agains him – even as he questioned why him and was crying out to God who he felt had abandoned him – even in the worst of the worst… he clung to the victory and glorious grace of God. He never became clouded by the world’s vision (and the even more clouded vision of his not-so-helpful friends). But he kept clinging – kept choosing – to see through God’s light and power. That light held what was the victory for Job.

Job 42:12 “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part…”

Smash the clouds.

Choose to see in the light. The victory is already won.

“My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering the world in a different way.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

“I’m the songwriter and you are the artist who sings the song and adds color to it” ~ Leo Juarez

This is easily now my favorite quote – not just because it is pure poetry; but also because my friend wrote the words about our friendship and the way God uses us together to create something beautiful. This friend inspires me. In talking about our faith, or about life – or sometimes about nothing of any substance at all – he finds words that take me deeper into my knowledge of the majestic God we serve and love. I know our friendship is Christ centered and God orchestrated. It’s our amazing God who gives him the song – and our amazing God that helps me color it. Our amazing God is the common thread that takes our ordinary to extraordinary in the togetherness He created.

And as I have been writing this beautiful picture in my heart and mind – I realize just how great the ultimate artist is in bringing the perfect people in our lives. There are a lot of people around me every day, but only a handful I would call me core. They are God designed partnerships. They are not perfect people, but perfectly placed in my life for His plans. They are people who are not just around – they are part of who I am and who I am becoming; people whose words, actions, and lives impact my life. Together we mix and become something so much greater than individuals.

I look at the world around me and realize that this isn’t a unique concept, it is Gods MO. Colors mix together to create new and vibrant colors. Oxygen and hydrogen mix to create life sustaining water. Sun and rain mix together to create the lasting symbol of God’s promise – the rainbow. Chocolate chips and cookie dough mix together to create gooey, chocolaty happiness. Sparks and wood mix together to make a warm campfire – from which toasted marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers mix together to create a campers dream – smores! Coffee grounds and hot water mix together to create heaven on earth… at least in my world!

Many things in this world mix together to create something exponentially better than the individual parts are by themselves. And these God friendships are very much the same – I am exponentially better because of and with these friends. It has always been God’s plan. After all, God Himself is not alone – Father, Son and Holy Spirit, each with their own role in the partnership.

2 Corinthians 13:14 “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

He models what working with, fellowshipping with, fully entering into God ordained friendships and partnerships can bring into your world. In God’s word, He guides us to embrace His community in our lives.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the day coming.”

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Romans 1:11-12 “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong, that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”

I love the friends God has brought into my life. Not just my friend who writes these songs I get to color with my pen; friends who each bring something different to my life, my faith and my growth. I have a friend who – certainly without knowing it – challenges me to see the people and the world around me in a completely different way. Every conversation I have with this friend surprises me. Each time I get to see the world around me through the different lens so natural to him, I am surprised.  In that surprise I realize how often I assume that what I see is the real picture when there is really something totally different I need to be open to; to get to know.

I have a friend who has a heart for people, especially for those most in need… for the least of these, the lost and forgotten. It is so much his heart that it is the work he is preparing for in life. Even in his extreme busy-ness, if I reach out to him in need he drops the ten million things I am certain he is doing and makes sure I am cared for until I am no longer in need. He checks in regularly. He often makes me feel like he has nothing else going on in his life even though I know that is not the case. From him I am learning what caring for other people the way God calls us to really looks like.

I have friends who have a huge passion and drive to learn, grow and share this faith we walk together. Times with them make me want to grow more deeply rooted to Christ. I love all these friends for so many reasons – and I am glad that I have been able to let God’s light shine through what we bring to the world together – so much more than any one of us alone.

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for a handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it; friends make life a lot more fun.” ~ Charles Swindall

The people in my life challenge me to be better. But you have to be careful because the wrong people feeding into your life can have the opposite effect.

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.”

Proverbs 24:24-25 “Do not make friends with a hot tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”

I speak that from experience. When I was surrounded by people who were not walking a life of faith, I was easily drawn into actions and behaviors, relationships and situations that I should never have been in. I lived a life dictated by the world and paid a heavy price. See… good or bad, the people you surround yourself with impact your life. The words they speak into and over your life are the voices that echo in your head. Be careful with the voices you let in. Ask God – He will surround you with people who will help your eyes, mind and heart seek Him.

Because really…

He is the best friend you could ever have. He is really the only friend that you really need.

Proverbs 18:34 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

As long as you are anchored to the best friend, you can rise to and conquer any trial, challenge, task and hurt that may come your way. Even hurt at the hands of those very friends you have let into your inner circle. Because no matter how great your friends are – they are still people… imperfect people. And imperfect people will sometimes fail us. But God never does.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord Himself goes before you, He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous – do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

I thank God that He is truly all I need and that He will never leave or forsake me. And that He has surrounded me with people who desire Him as much as I do, and who each bring a unique and beautiful gift and perspective into my life.

Ask God.

He will give you the song writers for your life. Then all you have to do is lean in, open your eyes and your heart.

And color the song.

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same”  ~ Elbert Hubbard

“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God’s finger on man’s shoulder”.  ~Charles Morgan

I got a new tattoo – lots of layers of symbolism  and meaning.   But this isn’t really about the picture – it is about the process. I am not going to sugar coat it, this new art hurt… a lot! One spot hurt worse than the rest, one spot hurt from the very first touch. You probably guessed it already; the part that hurt the worst was the heart. I remember thinking at that point – there is probably something pretty metaphorical about that… the heart makes the boldest statement but has the greatest capacity to hurt – real, soul-wrenching hurt.

I am pondering this heart picture when I was reminded of another favorite movie quote (quite possibly because I was watching the movie again). Frozen! The first time the family visits the wise trolls to save their daughter the elder troll, Grand Pabbie, very eloquently points out, “you are lucky it wasn’t her heart. The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded.” I think Grand Pabbie may have been paraphrasing scripture there.

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows through it.”

For a long time, the heart has been my favorite shape. I have always felt there is poetry in the human heart. A heart can love fully but can also hurt deeply; and cause hurt. A heart can even hate and devise schemes to cause others damage. It is like a flower that can transform to a fire-breathing dragon – one takes in the gentle fragrance only to find themselves burnt to the core by the power. God knew from the beginning the power and beauty held within our hearts. Scripture after scripture attests to the power of the heart to do good and harm. God created us with an immense capacity for love and a deep desire to be loved. But we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people whose hearts have not been treated with care – whose hearts have not been protected. Those people – all around us – have a great power to transform their hurt and pain to those around them. It is probably why every pastor has the line “hurting people hurt people” in their arsenal. It is the reality of the world we get to dance in everyday. Capacity for great things, great love, and great happiness – scattered among obstacles and landmines we often know nothing about and can’t control where they explode.

So what is the answer? Avoid people?

I don’t think so. God started our story warning against it.

Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’.”

Right there at the very beginning; it is not good for man to be alone. I wrote a poem about that not long ago – Defeating Alone http://wp.me/p4KHr6-1u. Alone is dangerous and God knew it from the beginning. Even He isn’t alone, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Scriptures tell us over and over the good being with other people.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spurn one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the day approaching.”

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.”

Hebrews 3:18 “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

We need togetherness. We need other people. We were not created to be alone. It is not good for us to be alone. We need others encouragement, leadership and fellowship in our lives. But that need means we are vulnerable at our core – at our heart – at the heart of who we are. We are open to love but can be hurt. We rely on friends but can feel abandoned or let down by them. We rely on family to protect and guide us but that very family can abuse and neglect us. We open ourselves to the world and therefore to the potential joy and pain of the world. And we see all the time hearts that have been hardened by their exposure to the world. I believe if you really looked at the story behind the people you see as angry, mean, hardened people – you would find a story that did not take care of their heart.

On a youth mission once, doing an ice-breaker, we asked “if you could spend time with anyone from any time in history, who would you choose?”  One young woman answered Hitler. This of course was shocking to many – answers like Gandhi, Mandela and Mother Theresa were far more standard. So the barrage of ‘why on earth would you choose him’ questions followed. Her answer seemed simple and a bit naïve – but on closer look was probably more astute than most teens could be. Her answer, “I think if someone, anyone, had just reached out to Hitler in love – given him a hug – the whole evil history could have been changed.” Look at his history – his father is described as having a terrible temper, bad attitude, was obnoxious, conceited, and often took his problems out on his children. Hurting people hurt people. Jim Jones’ mother was always working and his father was emotionally abusive. Joseph Stalin’s father beat his wife and children. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother was tense, greedy for attention and highly argumentative.

The world has such a power to hurt people; to harden hearts that were designed for love… and as Grand Pabbie so perfectly said, the heart is not so easily changed. We desire love deeply – but once a heart has closed itself it is hard to change.

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” ~~ Mother Theresa

The mind is easy to change. We change our tastes and opinions all the time, sometimes during a single conversation. The world around us has a constant impact on what we think. But a heart of stone often remains cold and hard.

So far this sounds pretty hopeless. The world hurts – hardens hearts – and the cycle repeats; and it is very hard to change. Really though, this is the most hope filled story I could tell, because our God turns stone to flesh. What is impossible in the world is God’s great gift.

Ezekiel 36:26 “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you, I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

God walks with us, fights for us, comforts, and – most importantly – He loves us with a love that this world cannot ever match. When our trust is in God, when our love comes from God, the world’s power in our life is diminished. With God’s heart our hard heart breaks into a heart of flesh – a heart open to love; a heart less likely to hurt others.

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.”

Psalm 23:14 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

“You don’t have to go looking for love, it is where you come from.” ~~ Werner Erhard

My life is a story of this hope, this love, this God who changes hearts and changes the world. I lived a lot of years with a heart of stone. It was rock formed from years of hurt, hurt from the world that was supposed to love me and then hurt from the world I built around me – my own destructive choices hurting a lot of people around me and hurting myself. I got to a place where I had no hope for a life different from the one I knew. I had a heart locked away without hope or love. I believed that I just wasn’t worth love. I believed that the life I lived was just the life I would always have. I believed that the love and happiness I saw others enjoying would just never be part of my life. I lived in extreme darkness and despair. I was hurting – and without knowing any other way – I was hurting others. I was dragging the people around me into the darkness with me. But somehow, someway, God’s love broke through – God’s love found me. God’s love rescued me.

“The love game is never called off on account of darkness” ~~Tom Masson

I know that it is because people prayed for me. I found my way out of the darkness because there were people around me who didn’t let my failure break them away. I had people surrounding me who didn’t let my brokenness harden their hearts – who didn’t let my heart of stone drag them into my darkness. There were people who kept hold of love – God’s love – and who brought the light of that love into my darkness. There were people who did not give up on the hurting, hardened, angry, hurtful person I had become. I found God’s love because of people who kept feeding God’s love into my life through their lives. They stayed until I found my way out of the darkness; until I hit my knees and gave my heart to God. I gave Him my heart to heal. I opened my heart to real love. I opened myself to love that has not failed me and never will. My heart of stone transformed to a real, beating, feeling heart – not overnight – but over time. There are days that I still fall back, that I feel the hurt, harden and hurt others. But I always grasp to my heavenly Father’s perfect love and back to the heart of love – back to a place where I can love others as God first loves me. I fight until I am back where God has my whole heart.

Matthew 22:37-39 “Jesus replied ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind! This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself’.”

And this is why my lioness is grasping/cradling/protecting a human heart – my heart – rooted firmly into the rock that she rests on.

Ephesians 3:17-19 “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep Is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

I cling to God’s love. I root myself in faith to the rock, which will always hold firm. I rest in His love, His grace, and His perfect gift to me.

Do you know God’s love? Have you let Him into your heart; to heal the hurts the world has put in? Have you let Him turn your heart of stone to a heart of flesh? Do you ask Him daily to open your heart to be loved by Him, and to love the world with His love?

1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us”.

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 15:12 “my command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

Let God’s love wash over you.

Love other’s the way God loves you.

Change the world.

“It’s astounding how little one feels alone when one loves.” ~~ John Buliever

“Love one another and you will be happy. It is as simple and as complicated as that.”  ~~ Michael Leunig

I have seen dozens of movies that portray the whole military, boot camp, drill sergeant routine. It is always a big man with veins popping in his neck, yelling in the face of the young enlistees. His job is to scream the spirit out of them – to break them so they can be rebuilt the way the military wants them. I have not been in the military; I have not actually witnessed or experienced real boot camp, so I cannot attest to the accuracy of the picture the movies portray. I have, though, seen life act this very way over and over again. A loud, screaming, yelling, noisy life that given the chance tries to break the spirit and faith in me and tries to mold me into the same, worldly, walking dead who surround me in everyday life.

I think satan is a master at noise – he builds up so much noise in my world it gets hard to defeat, to silence, to fight through the noise and to keep my peace and focus. He uses everyday noise. He uses personal noise. He throws a cacophony of awful, screeching, terrifying stormy noise – all designed to distract me from God and from God’s still small voice in my life.

The noise isn’t always spectacular or special. Recently I was diagnosed with sever anemia. Given that my hemoglobin numbers every year prior were completely normal, this was concerning to my doctor. So very quickly we pursued a number of different diagnostic procedures to find out why I very suddenly had such a low number. Very quickly I had lots of procedures, preparations for procedures, blood draws and appointments. Many different doctors all throwing their two cents in. many well meaning (but not doctors) people throwing their two cents in. suddenly I was weighed down by all the pennies from everyone’s two cents. I had so much information – noise – coming at me at once that I couldn’t’ make sense of any of it. The noise of all the information was drowning out any understanding, any faith, I could find in the situation. Satan was very successfully distracting me from the only real information that I needed. God is the ultimate healer and always had me and this situation in His hands. As soon as I silenced the world’s noise; peace was mine.

1 Samuel 2:9 “He will guard the feet of His faithful servants, but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness. It is not by strength that one prevails.”

Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Psalm 42:7-8 “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life.”

This noise happens more spectacularly during times of trial – during the storms and valleys we all will inevitably face. During these times satan isn’t subtle – the noise isn’t just regular information bombarding me. During trials, the noise becomes much more personal. A lost job and suddenly I hear “God clearly doesn’t care about you”. A kid is struggling with addiction and the parent is told it must be the way they raised the child. A friend faces a serious diagnosis and they feel they must not be living good enough, they are being punished by God for their sins. In times of trial the noise that attacks me tries to convince me that it is my fault, that I have somehow done something to bring it on or not done something to prevent it. I hear the thunder and the waves and become so blind from all the noise that I cannot find my anchor. I cannot find the God that I know never promised life would be easy – but who did promise He would walk every step of it with me. When I shut out the noise of the world, I can cling to my anchor and refuse to sink in the storm.

Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Even with all this daily noise and spectacular noise – I find the nosiest place in my life is around my faith. It is a resounding noise of the world against that which they don’t understand. They don’t understand the fact that I know God; God who loves me unconditionally without me doing a thing except accepting Him and His Son who He sent to atone for my sin. It is hard for many to understand this and they surround me with their noise. These people who have tried everything they can to fill the hole that only God was meant to fill, they try to drag me into their emptiness with them.. The voices that tell me doing drugs, getting drunk all the time, sleeping with a bunch of guys, lying, cheating, stealing – these are all just the way the world works. They try to convince me that everyone lives this way – there is nothing wrong with it, and I should live this way too. They try to convince me my life will be better if I just join what “everyone” else is doing. There is so much noise to conform to the world it is hard to fight. It is hard not to let the noise just take over and carry me off.

But oh the joy in the silence, in tuning in to God’s perfect purpose and plan in my life.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

With all this noise yelling in my face – how do I get to the silence? God gave me the formula.

Ephesians 6:10-18 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything, stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waste, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feat fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

Read the Word, write it on my heart. Pray. Stand in faith. Go into every battle, every day-to-day situation and everything in between – firmly planted in faith, in God! God’s still small voice is always there, always waiting patiently for me to just lean in and listen., to really hear Him. He is the peace in the everyday. He is the perseverance in the storm. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the armor for every battle.

He is the silencer.

He quiets all the clanging noise trying to rob me of my life.

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heats be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since a members of one body you were called to peace and be thankful”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

Jump out of the noise.

Sink deep into His silence and hear the amazing promises God has waiting for you.

We have all heard the half-empty / half-full glass comparison. It is supposed to signify the way we view the world. This picture supposedly proves if you are optimistic or pessimistic. Personally, I think it only proves how thirsty you are!

There is a game I like to play on my IPad – it is a 3-dimensional version of the classic Mah-Jong. 3-D, the board moves up, down, sideways and diagonal-ways. Sometimes, to find the match, you actually have to move the board – the piece is otherwise completely hidden. Sometimes I find even when the match is not actually hidden – just shifting the board helps me see the match that is right out in front of me. All it takes is a change in my perspective to see the whole board totally differently and to gain victory.

Perspective is defined as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something. Perspective is our point of view. Perspective in our world is shaped by a lot of factors, our upbringing, education, friends, beliefs and even just the type of day we are having. It is grey and cloudy outside and that same slow driver that entertained us yesterday when it was sunny is making us crazy. A boss yells at you and suddenly you have less patience with the people you are caring for – less patience and grace for your own direct reports, patients or customers.

But here is the great news; when you realize that you approach people, decisions, and life based on your perspective – than you know how to make major changes in your life… just change your perspective. That slow driver isn’t keeping you from getting somewhere, he is giving you the chance to slow down and enjoy the journey. That boss that just yelled at you is not a bad, evil, mean person – but probably just got yelled at herself, or she as a looming weight, bad news, bad report – that makes her scared. She needs love and grace, not judgment and returned anger. That diagnosis is not a death sentence but a chance for God to work miracles in your life and for your life to speak life into others.

That is what faith is really. Faith is a daily Change in perspective. Just believing in my God, in His Son and the real / perfect grace He gives to me requires me to have a different perspective than the world or logic dictates. I can’t see Him – but I don’t look for Him through those worldly eyes; I know he is there. Because I have faith, my glass is never half-empty or half-full – Jesus steps in with His supply of living water and fills me full. He covers the difference, the short fall in my life. With Jesus, my glass is always full.

Ephesians 3:16-19 “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I thought I had a pretty solid faith but a couple things lately have me looking just a little closer at my faith. See, even in faith I was approaching God looking through a lens of limitation. My perspective was impacted by the world’s limitations. God was never meant to be bound by our earthly limitations.

About a week ago, I got some not good news. My grandpa was not doing well. I was told I must make certain I got to see him when I went home for the holiday and that I should be prepared because he looked really, really bad. Every word spoken to me dripped of “he is dying, get your bum down to see him”. I was emotionally rocked. I was afraid he wouldn’t make it until I got home, and that I wouldn’t get the chance to tell him I loved him and that he would pass not knowing that.

Suddenly, my glass was empty. I was empty. I couldn’t get myself out of the emotion to a place where I could give my fears and my heart to God. My perspective was blurred and blinded by the tears in my eyes. But God stepped in and helped me change my perspective. God reminded me that I don’t see Him yet I know that He loves me because of the lifetime of love He has given to me. In the same way, my grandpa knows I love him because I have told him so throughout my lifetime. Suddenly I was so much more at peace – my point of view fully shifted. If I couldn’t get home in time, I would be ok. My glass was refilling.

But God wasn’t done.

Oh how wildly limited was that perspective I had.

God had bigger plans – plans to do way more than just refill my cup.

I saw my grandpa the other day – I made it home “in time”. Turns out, that was the wrong perspective anyway. My grandpa… he looks really good. Instead of being at the end as everyone in my family assumed – they figured out he was taking double the medication he was supposed to take. Once that was corrected – he is doing much better. Yet I hadn’t believed that could be possible.

My faith was small.

My faith was limited by the small perspective I was focused on.

I was talking to a friend about that small faith and how God keeps showing me I need to believe. Believe bigger, because He is greater than everything. I started thinking about faith – about changing my faith perspective. Breaking out of the box I had shoved me and God into. I opened up YouVersion for my daily scripture reading and this is the first thing I read:

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Faith is believing.

Believing without any real reason to believe, other than God is who He says He is and is not limited. Believing bigger than our imaginations can even dream.

Believing bigger that someone will be completely healed instead of just “being comfortable’ at the end. Believing bigger; that that the most off track, addicted, broken, hopeless person that we know today will be completely restored and walking with God tomorrow. Believing bigger that a “homeless” church that is reaching thousands in a city where real estate is gold and that gold is hard to find – that church will be given a permanent home and will reach tens of thousands more. Believing for love greater than anything we can earthly imagine.

He tells us as plainly as possible, believe BIGGER.

Matthew 17:20 “He replied, ‘ because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it will more. Nothing will be impossible for you.’”

James 1:6 “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

Faith.

Believe Bigger!

I am taking that glass I have confined God to and smashing it. I no longer look to God to just fill me – just cover the difference. I am believing bigger. He wants to give me greater gifts than any half-full / half-empty glass could ever hold. And I am standing in faith – believing bigger – for everything He has promised and wants to give me. I ask extravagantly because He calls me to have a bigger faith in His extravagance.

Don’t focus on how full or empty your glass is; smash the glass and focus on how incomparably great your God is.

Believe Bigger!!

I’ve been on a movie quote roll – and last night when talking to a friend of mine, one of my favorite chick-flick sappy line favorites fell into place with a whole stream of thought. It started with this though; God is the best, and I am just loving this crazy dance He lets me be a part of. And then my friend danced for me – in emoji! I love it when he does that because I know that it signifies shared happiness. And all this together put the movie quote on my heart. It is from Hope Floats (I warned you it was a chick flick line). Harry Connick Jr.’s character approaches Sandra Bullock’s character at a barn dance and says, “Dancing is just a conversation between two people, talk to me”.

I love dancing, literally and as an emotional picture. Dancing is moving, it communicates feelings. Dancing can be romantic, vibrant, fire or calm. Dancing is truly a conversation with anyone who is willing to listen. I’m a bit of a theater buff and I love the way Billy Elliott (from the musical of the same name) answers when asked “what does it feel like when you are dancing”.

“I can’t really explain it, I haven’t got the words. It’s a feeling that you can’t control. I suppose it’s like forgetting, losing who you are, and at the same time, something makes you whole. It’s like that there’s some music, playing in your ear, and I’m listening, and I’m listening, and then I disappear. And then I feel a change, like a fire deep inside, something bursting me wide open, impossible to hide. And suddenly I’m flying, flying like a bird. Like electricity, electricity, sparks inside of me, and I’m free, I’m free. It’s a bit like being angry, it’s a bit like being scared, confused and all mixed up and mad as hell. It’s like when you’ve been crying, and your empty and your full, I don’t know what it is, it’s hard to tell.” [Elton John’s Electricity, Billy Elliott]

That is my faith, every word; it is what my dance with God feels like. That crazy, calm, vibrant, romantic conversation with my Lord and with the life that He lets me live; that He has lain out before me. It is this unknown, electric, fire that I don’t have the words to describe. But when I get off the side of the dance floor and join into God’s rhythm – I’m free, I’m flying. I disappear and God’s dance breaks me into His music, into Him.

I look around me at all that is good and I dance. I have amazing friends – friends who dance every step with me; lead me, guide me, serve with me, worship with me and pray with me. I have a good job, family, passions and the ability to enjoy them, I have been able to travel the world and I have been able to truly experience love and grace. Life is good – and good times make the dance easier. Actually, the good makes the dance a natural response in praise of the God who makes it all possible.

2 Samuel 6:14 “Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all His might.”

Psalm 149:2-3 “Let Israel rejoice in their maker, let the people of Zion be glad in their King. Let them praise His name with dancing and make music to Him with timbrel and harp.”

But dancing isn’t just a response to good things happening around me. It is also how I survive the valleys and the storms. See, there are times when I just don’t feel as close to God. The valleys, and we all have them in our walk; time’s when I feel totally separated, times when it is hard to hear His voice if I hear it at all, when I feel totally alone, left out on my own. It is in these valley times when it could be very easy to just disappear – from faith, from friends, from life. I have learned in these times that the only way I can survive is to cling to Jesus – pull Him in closer and let Him lead. At these times the dance slows, it becomes more intimate – I focus more intently on Him until I find myself back in the rhythm and the light.

Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you do not fear, I will help you.”

Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.”

Psalm 61:2 “From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

It is the same in the storms, when life attacks from all directions. The dance becomes almost violent – spinning out of control – bounced around by trials, disease, hurt, sin, addiction, anger, jealousy, lust, worry, fear – thrown around like a ragdoll. The only way to survive the storm is to grasp tightly to the Rock. He keeps me from being drowned by the raging waters. I cling to Him, dance with Him through it instead of trying to fight it on my own. I cling to Him with faith that He always brings me safely through. I may not be able to see anything ahead of me. Like a ballet dancer spinning – the key is to focus on one point to keep from losing balance and place. That focus point is Jesus, in the storm I focus only on Jesus and let Him take care of the world blasting around me on all sides.

Jeremiah 31:13 “Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?”

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

My dance is also an internal dance. It is how I walk my faith. It is how Jesus and I have a conversation every day. Dancing is a conversation between two people – it is intimate and personal. To truly dance well with a partner, to be in step and graceful, you have to really know each other. God already knows everything about me – He created me perfectly as I am. I am the one who keeps stepping on His toes. I am the one who gets out of His perfect rhythm. But much like a dancer – if I put my heart into the work, I practice and I am willing to sweat a bit – I can draw closer and better in the dance with my perfect partner. I learn Him, I write His Word on my heart. I pray to Him, I talk with Him, and I listen to Him. I seek that music that is in my ear, strain to hear it, and strive to lose my self-focused noise and disappear into Him. The more I know Him, the better our dance becomes.

Romans 12:1-2 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I love this dance I join every day – and I love that I have the best dance partner that I could ever have. He leads me. He takes control (as long as I let Him) and keeps me on the floor. His rhythm is perfect for me. He knows me better – more intimately than any other partner ever could. There are a lot of people on the floor; some with me, some against me, some twirl me, and some try to throw me down. But my partner has me, I put my trust in Him and He takes care of the dance.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Dancing with God takes work and sweat, it is definitely not always easy – but it is a dance of freedom and joy and peace. It is electricity bursting in me.

I love the conversation I dance with God.

He is waiting to talk to you, dance with Him!

There are a lot of really great women in the bible. Admittedly there are a lot of not so great ones too, even a couple downright bad ones. But I like to focus on the really good ones because us women – we are the bride, we hold so much power to impact this world – and we read some really great role models to help us navigate the path God has in front of us. So whether we learn loyalty and obedience from Ruth, or wisdom in who we surround ourselves with from Esther, or grace, gratitude and sharing our faith from the woman at the well, or how to give from the old widow who have her only two coins at offering – what the women of the bible have to teach us can guide us in this life. I should note, these really great women were not necessarily perfect… a perfect story is not what made them great. The woman at the well… definitely not a great back-story but her story is great because of her response to God and how she reacted after she radically encountered Christ. I am thankful for all of the beautiful women who guide me in the scriptures.

Like Rahab.

Joshua 2:1-7 “Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. The king of Jericho was told, “Look, some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.” But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from.  At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut.”

So this is how Rahab’s story begins. In the very first sentence we learn that Rahab is a prostitute. This right away tells us everything we need to know right? Rahab definitely does not have a perfect back-story, but then again, it was because of her profession that her home would seem to be the perfect place for the spies to go. Guys coming in and out of her home would not have been unusual – and she would have heard the news from inside and outside the walls of Jericho. Had Rahab been a good girl, we would probably know nothing of her story. But because she has a very real story – we actually get to see what to me is the picture of a great faith.

See, we can ell already that Rahab – not an Israelite – knows that there is something different that she wants and that is must be the God of the Israelites. She would have heard the stories of the miracles He had performed. But at this point, I can already tell there is something about these Israelites that she wanted more of because of how she responds. The king sent the message. The king was the top dog – and had the power to take life and livelihood or freedom from those in his city walls who displeased him. Yet Rahab immediately and phenomenally lies directly to the king’s messengers. She put her own life in danger to protect two men she knew nothing about other than they were men of the God she wanted deep inside to know. She protects these two men at great personal risk because she knew something… even if she didn’t know what it was she knew.

Joshua 2:8-14 “Before the spies lay down for the night, she went up on the roof and said to them, “I know that the Lord has given you this land and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea or you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed.  When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.“Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them—and that you will save us from death. “Our lives for your lives!” the men assured her. “If you don’t tell what we are doing, we will treat you kindly and faithfully when the Lord gives us the land.”

Rahab proceeds to let the men out to safety and directs them on where to hide to avid the pursuers. And they agree that all in her home will be saved, and to identify her home – she ties a scarlet cord out the window. Rahab knew that everyone feared these people and their God, but somewhere in her she knew that the God of these men was the answer. That God was what she longed for, ached for, and desired in her heart. She saw in these two men hope for a different life than she had led. She knew somewhere deep in her heart with a faith that was based only on stories that she had heard – she knew that the only way she and her family could really live was to find a way to this God of the Israelites. She knew God was the hope.

I love this picture of faith. Because Rahab and me, we are an awful lot alike. For years I found my security in the arms of men. I gave up everything – every part of me, gave it away because it was the only way I knew how to live. It was the only way I knew how to survive. Each ended relationship took a lot more from me than it had ever fed into my life. I paid high prices each time I gave myself away, things I can never get back, things I can never undo. I built up in my life walls of guilt and shame and pain. But somewhere in that hardened, hurting heart of mine I knew. I knew there was something better. I knew and hoped for a totally different life. I heard stories about God. This God! And my heart started to hope even more. Somewhere in me there was a very real faith that if I could only somehow get to this God, that I could live in real freedom. That the oppressive chains that held me down, the guilt, the shame, the pain, the regret – there was an answer if I could only get to God.

Fortunately in my life, it didn’t take risking myself and hiding a couple spies and lying to a king. My freedom was easier. It took walking through a lot of church doors until I found a pair that opened to a place that felt like home, that took away all my excuses.

My heart broke, but in that breaking was freedom. It was painful, tear-filled freedom that broke the solid shell of my heart and my world. I found Him – that God of the Israelites. I found the Christ that everyone promised would overcome all the evil, including death. I found the One my heart yearned for, cried out for – the One my heart always knew was right there. And that faith only exploded because when I found Him there was no denying He was real, He was power, He was grace, and He was love.

Pure and perfect love like I had never known before; that I had never found in all the arms I had allowed to hold me before. And those human arms I no longer allowed to oppress me.

I found Him.

Rahab found Him.

Joshua 6:22-25 “Joshua said to the two men who had spied out the land, “Go into the prostitute’s house and bring her out and all who belong to her, in accordance with your oath to her.” So the young men who had done the spying went in and brought out Rahab, her father and mother, her brothers and sisters and all who belonged to her. They brought out her entire family and put them in a place outside the camp of Israel. Then they burned the whole city and everything in it, but they put the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron into the treasury of the Lord’s house. But Joshua spared Rahab the prostitute, with her family and all who belonged to her, because she hid the men Joshua had sent as spies to Jericho—and she lives among the Israelites to this day.”

And how do we know she made the Israelite’s her family? How do we know she found their God? Just read the lineage of Christ, you find this, “Solmon, the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab”. Yes, there she is. The prostitutes who knew with faith but that in the love of God was where she needed to be… right there in the lineage of Christ.

And here is the kicker of the story. The part I missed probably the first hundred times I read it. We always think the story is about the spies, about the eventual success destroying Jericho. But I think the story was always about Rahab. God knew her heart all along, God knew her desire for Him – He heard her cries at night to find her way to Him – He knew her faith in Him though she didn’t yet know Him. And He stayed to His promise to not lose one of the children whose heart is focused on Him.

John 6:39 “And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.”

Because – catch this now – three days later the spies get back to Joshua and tell him what they learned. Then…

Joshua 3:1 “Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over.”

Did you catch it? Early in the morning… Joshua had already prepared the Israelites to move forward. Joshua was not waiting on the report of the spies. The information they brought back was not even a little bit important in the story. Jericho would still have been overcome had the spies never been sent out. It would have all still happened, everything except Rahab’s salvation. Rahab, the prostitute now found in the lineage of Christ. Rahab, who tied a scarlet cord of faith to the window of the home where she sold herself to step out into life, freedom and grace in God’s family. Rahab, who tied that scarlet cord in faith of a God that she did not yet know. Maybe the spies were not sent for information, maybe God’s plan for them was greater – maybe God’s plan was one amazing woman of faith and her salvation.

And you know what? He fought that hard for me too. He sent person after person into my land, my home, my world; until I figured out how to tie that scarlet cord of surrender on my window and step out into that same life, that same freedom and that same grace.

And He is fighting that hard for you too. Are you ready to break free in shining scarlet faith?

In those fun, ice-breaker / getting to know each other games, one of my favorites is “if you could spend a day with one person from history, who would it be? My answer never changes – there are lots who would compete fro second… Lincoln, Mandela, Mother Theresa, Peter… but top choice never changes, William Wilberforce. He is credited with a 26 year quest eventually successfully abolishing the slave trade in England. Wilberforce was a man who had two goals in life, to end the slave trade and to improve the human condition through the reformation of society. I first learned who he was through the movie Amazing Grace and have loved everything I have learned of him ever since. Two of my favorite quotes come from that movie. The first is the way Wilberforce encounters God. While history is clear that Wilberforce did radically encounter God as an adult — we of course don’t know that the movie quote is correct. But I love it anyway.

Wilberforce “It’s God. I have 10,000 engagements of state today, but I would prefer to spend the day out here getting a wet arse, studying dandelions and marveling at bloody spider webs.”

Butler “You’ve found God sir?”

Wilberforce “I think He found me. You have any idea how inconvenient that is? How idiotic it will sound? I have a political career glittering ahead of me, and in my heart I want spider webs.”

I don’t know why but I love that picture – it’s how I feel sometimes. I would rather marvel at God’s world around me than to go do the things laid before me. But like Wilberforce, I carry on. And thank God Wilberforce carried on in his political career as the good he fought hard for changed the world.

But this is really about the other favorite quote. Running together in the yard with his friend – Prime Minister William Pitt – Pitt says “Why is it you only feel the thorns in your feet when you stop running?” In the movie, Pitt is encouraging Wilberforce to keep running, but I always see something different in that quote.

We spend so much of our lives running. Running to make money, achieve, get the best friends, the most popularity, the most esteem. We quest at full steam to get everything we think we are supposed to have. Even in our faith, we often start running full speed ahead; serve everywhere we can, make sure everyone knows the scripture that is on our heart, make sure they can see how real and deep our faith is. Running, running, running.

I was running for a lot of years. Until one day I was stopped in my tracks. I found myself sitting in the corner of a concrete building with my bible, reading scripture and praying over the medical clinic that my short term mission team was holding in Ghana West Africa, on the small island of Ada without power or running water. I know what you are thinking, if I was running, how did I end up on a short term mission? But even that for me was part of my running, part of my quest to make sure that externally my faith was seen as full speed ahead – but God had a different plan for me in that trip. He stopped my running and helped me feel the thorns.

My first thorn was the small girl that halted me dead in my tracks. Sitting there, reading and praying, she quietly walked up to me and hopped onto my lap and just sat there with me. It was that moment I turned and looked into her eyes that the thorns became very real. I saw the little girl with so little in the world who so desperately wanted to be loved, held, that she sought it in a total stranger. It was the first time I began to really see the need that God holds dear. I had read the scriptures but never saw the need in them, just the obligation.

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this, to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Psalm 82:34 “Defend the week and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

It was one of the quietest yet loudest moments in my life. The girl clung to me until we left the island, but I think I was clinging to her too; feeling the thorns, feeling a whole new awareness, awake-ness, a new purpose that was God’s purpose all along. I came home determined not to start running again – to be so caught up doing that I was never really seeing. Not to be so focused on what my life and faith looked like externally that I couldn’t hear the still small voice of God whispering in my ear.

When I came home, my eyes were different. I began to be aware of the thorns I had so easily ignored in my fast paced running. Thorns came as needs all around me – everyday needs. I became aware of friends who withdrew from their normal lives, only to reach out and find they were going through tough times and needed someone to just be there for them. I wondered how many thorns I hadn’t felt in the past – wondered about friends literally gone and wondered if there had been a time they just needed someone to be there for them. I became aware of opportunities in my everyday life to be a light; a word at work, a positive attitude to the people serving me at the grocery store or the pharmacy or the airport

I became aware of opportunities to draw closer to God; to praise, pray, to write His Word on my heart, and to live every day knowing and worshipping the God who created me and gave His only Son to atone for me. I found myself desiring to more internally know my God and his amazing grace that washed away the years I spent running from Him before I inconveniently yet majestically and permanently encountered Christ. And I become aware of those times I began losing focus. The thorns, they keep me awake, alert, and alive in God.

2 Corinthians 12:6-9 “Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of those surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Sometimes the thorns really are inconvenient. Sometimes I want to start running again so that I can stop feeling them. But I remember my days of running. I imagine I was the thorns in many other people’s feet. I know people who prayed for me, who stuck by me through the worst, who never let me disappear, who answered when I cried out and needed someone to just be there for me. So for all the thorns I have caused, I pray that I remain awake, ever mindful of the needs God is showing me. That I never start running so much that God’s plan and God’s love in my life be forgotten, unnoticed or ignored. Wilberforce’s thorn was the source of slavery, and he stuck with God for 26 years, never losing sight of the need. I pray that I always have that awareness of God’s working in me, and that I endure the long road without losing faith.

Because I once was lost, but now I am found. Was blind, but now I see.

And I want to be ever seeing, ever hearing, ever grateful for God’s amazing grace. So I will praise every thorn he blesses me to feel.

I recently had a day when my soul was definitely not at peace. Not that life was bad – things have still been pretty amazing for me lately. Maybe because I have been in a good place, close to God, a lot of needs have been coming my way. So this morning, when I was already praying for some pretty big needs, some hurting friends, some darkness surrounding people I love – I learned of another family with a heavily tragic loss. My soul was definitely not at peace. I have recently learned that when breathing seems a little hard the best thing to do is jump into God’s word and let Him do some breathing for me.

I used to very anti glowing bible. But I have to admit, I have grown to love YouVersion… I still love my trusty binding and pages bible, but it is not feasible to have it with me all the time. So that morning, sitting at my desk, I grabbed my coffee and popped up my YouVersion. I have a few reading plans that I do all the time. Psalms and Proverbs in 31 days is one I do over and over. So I open my plan and here I see the first Psalm that I would be reading. I didn’t even need to open it before my breathing automatically eased, a smile crossed my face, and I knew God had orchestrated it all. There is nothing other than God to explain the perfection of this Psalm for this exact moment.

Psalm of peace for my soul.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshed my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Shepherd “A person who tends, herds, feeds, and guards herds of sheep.”

According to Wikipedia: “to maintain a large flock, the sheep must be able to move from pasture to pasture… The duty of shepherds was to keep their flock intact, protect it from predators, and guide it to market areas in time for shearing.”

The Lord is my Shepherd. He tends to my needs, makes sure I am fed and guards me from the predators of this world that would harm me. He keeps His large flock – all His sheep – moving forwards with Him. I have nothing to worry about, He does the worrying for me so I can lie in rest in my own green pastures. He takes care of my earthly needs, like food and water – water that takes away the thirst deep in my soul.

When I rely on the guidance of my Shepherd, He leads me on the path He has planned for me. The path may be hard or rocky, but it is the right path, the path of life and blessing. He is my Shepherd, He knows where I need to get to and the best path for me to get there.

He is my Shepherd but I am still in the world. And many in the world have left the side of the perfect guide; have left the peace of the flock. They can do me harm – maybe even intentionally, definitely to my peril. The world can be hard and dangerous, dark valleys and shadows exist all around me — shadows of disease, shadows of temptation, and shadows of worldly driven people who surround me. But with my Shepherd by my side, watching out for me, with His rod and His staff prepared to fend off would be attackers – my God, my Shepherd, will keep me from harm.

The Lord is my Shepherd. And as I travel the pastures of this world, all I really need to know is that His goodness and mercy and love follow me everywhere that I go. And with my Shepherd, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

And that is all the peace I need for my soul.

That peace is available for any sheep who find their way to the good Shepherd. Follow Him; still waters, green pastures, protection, goodness, love, and mercy await you. He is ready to lead you there.

My last post got me thinking about Christmases past. Two of my favorite stories of my childhood involve my grandpas. I was pretty spoiled by my grandpas – I was the only girl and tied for the youngest with my cousin on my mom’s side (until my teen years when my “baby” cousin came along). I was truly the baby on my dad’s side. Yes, I had my grandpas pretty well wrapped around my little finger.

Mom told me of a holiday gathering when her dad came into the kitchen while the women were cooking. This was a room in the house my grandpa did not frequent – before you get up in arms – this was an Indiana farm family and a very different time. So yes, the women were in the kitchen cooking and were shocked when grandpa came into the kitchen and began opening cupboards. After the shock wore off, someone asked if they could help him find something. His response, “Amber wants a glass of water, where do we keep the glasses?”

Dad’s dad spoiled me equally – or maybe even more. My parents remember a Christmas when they asked me what I was going to ask Santa Claus for. Now apparently, the year before I had told only Santa, in secret, something I really wanted. Since he was the only one who knew what I really wanted, I of course did not get it. But this next year I really, really wanted a “Snownut” (think snow sled meets donut). It was evidently the must have, hot, hard to find item that year. When my parents asked me if I was going to ask Santa for it, I proceeded to tell them that Santa let me down – finishing with “I’m not asking Santa, I’m going to ask grandpa!”

I realize not everyone had a great childhood, some may not have known grandparents or don’t have such loving memories of them. For you, this might be hard to relate to. But for me, I had good grandpas who I knew loved me and spoiled me. They were the model for me of who I now know is the greatest love and the best spoiler out there. God!

Yes, I just made the leap from grandpas to God. But stick with me. I will explain.

See, that adorable child that I was knew she was fully, unconditionally loved by my grandpas. But the adult me knows that as great as their love for me was, there is One who loves me even more fully, more unconditionally, and more perfectly than any human ever could.

Romans 8:35-39 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ Jesus our Lord.”

 Lamentations 3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

 Ephesians 3:17-19 “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

God’s love for me is greater than I can imagine or fathom. I fail Him – sometimes daily. I get busy and harrowed and forget to spend time with Him. I take His blessing and forget to thank Him. When I would see my grandpas as a child, I would always run to them for a grandpa sized hug. There are days that I just never get around to giving God and Amber-sized hug. I hear what God is saying to me, where He wants me to grow, change, start something, stop something, respond to someone, love someone or forgive someone. Yet even hearing Him, I fail to act. I get frustrated when He doesn’t respond fast enough for me or answer me in quite the way that I want Him to. Yet despite how much I mess it up, He stays right there with me, by my side patiently waiting for me and loving me with a much greater love than anyone in this world ever could.

And because He loves me, I know I can ask Him for those things I really want. When the Santa’s of the world let me down, I know that God wants to give me greater gifts than I even know to ask for.

1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.” 

Matthew 7:11 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.”

James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

I got the Snownut that year, from my grandpa – not Santa. My grandpa, who had truckers he worked with scouring all over the U.S. to find my desired gift (I believe it was found and procured and brought back from a small town in Wisconsin or Minnesota). If my earthly grandpa would go to those lengths to get me a sled, how much greater are the perfect gifts my God has in store for me? I thought I absolutely had to have that sled, God knows what I really have to have. He knows the desires of my heart even before I do. He knows what I face in this world, and He knows where I will come out of it. He has the whole big picture vision and because of that, He can give me just exactly the puzzle piece that perfectly fits and ties everything together. All I have to do is ask – reach out to Him in my daily conversation, hear His words, know what aligns with His will, and ask with the childlike faith of a kid who knew that Snownut would be under grandpa’s tree that year.

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Luke 17:6 “He replied, ‘if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘be uprooted and planted in the sea’, and it will obey you’.”

That doesn’t mean I just walk around with God in a bottle like a genie just waiting for me to rub the lamp and make a wish. No “poof”, it will happen expectations when it comes to God. My prayers and my faith are part of the relationship we have. We have daily conversations about life and not always just me asking. Sometimes just loving, sometimes just listening. Because my relationship is 2-way, I can ask in alignment with God’s will for my life and the desires He already knows to be in my heart and not out of momentary worldly lust or need. And I know with faith that He will answer.  The answer may not exactly be when, where, what, who or how I anticipated – but it is always much greater than I anticipated. And sometimes, the answer is completely different than what I asked for, but always for my own good and to phenomenal ends. Like all the “unanswered” prayers that we thank God for all the time. Sometimes it takes a lot longer for the answer to come than I would like – He never promised that it would be immediate. But He does promise it will be way better than my imagination can create.

Here is what I know. My grandpas taught me a lot about who God is by their example on earth. My God is pure and perfect love, unconditional, unearned amazing love. And He wants to give me the desires of my heart – He has better gifts for me than the world has (after all, Snownuts eventually break or get tossed forgotten into the basement). But most importantly, God wants to give me hope, peace and a real life. My grandpa got for me a glass of water – my God wants to be my eternal supply; living water.

John 7:37-38 “On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

John 4:13-14 “Jesus answered, ‘everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

God’s grace enables me to live free. God’s forgiveness enables me to live unashamed. God’s sacrifice enables me to live forever. My grandpa got me a glass of water that quenched my momentary thirst, but I am certain I have been thirsty thousands of time since. God’s water has quenched the empty, aching thirst in my soul forever.

So whether you had good experiences as a child or not, know that there is a perfect Father for you. Everything He has for me in my life He has for you in yours. He wants to spoil His very favorite. And just like my grandpas loved each of their grandchildren as their favorite… I am God’s favorite… and you are too.

So just ask Grandpa.

God is waiting patiently for your knock, your prayer, your heart.